Assertiveness is a core communication skill and can help us to express our point of view and ourselves effectively without disrespecting the rights and beliefs of others. It’s an art-The art of communicating effectively. Being an assertive communicator, you would be able to boost your self-esteem and earn the respect of others.
Few people are naturally assertive and if you’re one of them, it's fine and if not, try to learn the skills and art of becoming more assertive. Being assertive can help you to manage stress especially if you have a tendency to take more responsibilities and saying NO is hard to say.
Assertive communicator always bases his communication on mutual respect, it’s a diplomatic and highly effective communication style. In this way you show that you stand up for your interests, express your thoughts & feelings and, respect yourself. At the same time, you are empathetic and aware of other's rights and are willing to resolve the conflicts. That’s the way assertive communication makes sense. Assertive communicator makes communication direct and respectful. It is not important what you say but how you say it by successfully putting across the message. A too passive or too aggressive message may get lost if you’re communicating the message wrongly.
There are different ways of communicating and more than one way may be taking place simultaneously. Different ways of communication include: Spoken or Verbal Communication, Non-Verbal communication, Written, and Visual communication. The desired goal, purpose, and outcome of any one communication is mutual understanding and clarity of the message delivered.
Assertive communicator is very well aware of the fact that communication is an art and he makes sure to use it effectively to deliver his message or put his point across without hurting the person and the situation. As an effective communicator, he utilizes all the tools and skills available with him to get the advantage of the situation.
The same thing holds for communication. There are so many tools available to communicate. Use them purposely with awareness and better you use those tools, the better communicator you are. Out of the four categories of communication we mentioned earlier, we will take up two most important and effective categories – Verbal & Nonverbal - and see how the use of these categories can improve our ability to communicate effectively.
To master success, the most critical component is the effective communication skill. It will work miracles in your life, relationships, business, friend circle, and your performance will improve in every walk of life. This will give you a unique opportunity to hone your communication skills and touch others with your powerful words, style, clarity, emotions, and sharpness. Take advantage of the skills of effective communication.
But before we take up 10 ways to master the art to become assertive communicator, let us see what are the roadblocks in the way to be an effective communicator and how to remove them. Preparation is the key. Make deliberate and consistent efforts to gather knowledge, information, and experiences and use it when required, effectively.
Develop Interest:
Everywhere you go around and meet different people, take genuine interest to know about their life by becoming more curious. Sharpen your skills to ask questions about their culture, life, living style, likes & dislikes, and views about different topics of their interest. It’s always an interesting conversation and fascinating too. The key is to add up to your experiences by knowing people and the way they think about the world. And you can add your color and flavor by describing things about them positively to make it interesting.
Fascinating Experiences:
Life fascinates you. Substitute your frustrations in life to fascination. Let life be interesting. Do not be merely interested. Go for fascination. If you are curious and interested, you would like to know only, does it work? But if you are a fascinating person, you would like to know, how does it work? What makes it work and you would like to know the minute details. Kids are always fascinated and ask hundreds of questions like what’s going on, what’s happening, how come it works, how does it work, and why it works like this? Etc. By storing more information like this, analyzing and using as an experience will always benefit and add value to your communications.
Empathy, Sensitivity, and Compassion:
Try to feel what the other person feels. Have compassion and sympathy. Put yourself in other person's shoes and learn to be more sensitive to their feelings and sympathetic.
Develop knowledge:
Fill up your mind with information and knowledge acquired from reading, traveling, meeting people, and understanding of the environment. Gather up the stories, do the research and as and when you need the knowledge, let it flow out of your reservoir and use it in communication.
Assertive Communicator-10 ways to master the Art:
VERBAL/NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATIONS
1. Words: Be careful with your words and mind your words. Always try to choose your words wisely. The power lies with the words you use, and powerful words can move nations and mountains. Words can be destructive. When you speak, use words that are colorful and rich in meaning and have clarity. Choose your words carefully. Do not use slang and slur. Use positive, optimistic words to communicate positive values and make sure they are clear and understandable.
2. Vocabulary: Rich vocabulary enhances communication and shows your level of education. The Assertive communicator will use expanded and rich vocabulary with more educated groups and basic vocabulary with the common people who have limited formal education. Along with vocabulary, you may need to work on your tone, pace of speech, and volume for effective communication.
3. Articulation/Diction/Enunciation: Clarity of speech and understanding is the most important thing in communication. The idea is a variety in the way the speech is being made. The tonal quality and vocabulary should not be predictable and the same to make it boring and without emotions. We must make it different and colorful every time by practicing it regularly.
4. Use Emotions as a powerful tool: while speaking, use your emotions effectively without getting emotional and is a very important aspect of communications. If controlled, emotion is a very powerful tool of communication. Keep emotions in check.
5. Style Assessment: Make sure you understand your style before you start making changes. Check if you remain silent or voice your opinions. Are you quick to blame? Are you judgemental? Do people fear to talk to you? Assess your style.
6. Statements Using “I”: Instead of saying, “You’re wrong” Say “I disagree” or “I would like you to help me with this” rather than,” you need to do this”. Make sure your requests are simple, to the point and specific.
Have you ever thought about body language or how you communicate by using non-verbal gestures? Definitely, it has a major impact on your communication with others.
7. Hand Gestures: Using your hand gestures to communicate non verbally does surely make an impact on the people you’re talking to.do not keep your hands straight on your sides to look as you’re stiff and uncomfortable. And by saying so, I am not suggesting that you get too demonstrative with your gestures.
8. Eye Contact: Regular eye contact during communicating is a powerful tool. Remember the old saying, “Eyes are the windows to your soul.” Gaze into the eyes to show your interest. If you keep on looking around, it shows your lack of interest in communication. Be attentive to them with your eyes and listen to them not only with your ears but with eyes. Be an assertive communicator.
9. Body language: Assertive body language is the key. Practice it. Lean forward a bit but make sure to keep an upright posture. Positive but neutral facial expressions to be maintained. Do not cross your legs and arms, it will show the other person closure of communication.
10.Positions while speaking: In a presentation situation, your speaking position says a lot, whether you’re standing, sitting, leaning, etc. Some speakers feel charged while speaking by standing but leaning forward to show their closeness to the audience. While some of the speakers communicate while sitting. Sitting shows casualness yet informative and effective.
To be an Assertive communicator: It takes time to be assertive time and a lot of practice. It will not happen overnight. Consider formal training to learn the skills to develop assertiveness, if, despite your best efforts you are not able to control certain issues such as stress, anxiety, fear, or anger, you may need to learn to manage your shortcomings. By being more assertive, you will be able to express your needs and true feelings easily. The results will be more than you expect. The final part of effective communication is feedback. Assertive communicator pays close attention to feedback because it allows clearing any confusion arisen out due to the non-clarity of the message communicated.
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